Who else but the most broken individuals could dream up a scheme to disrupt WNBA games by tossing sex toys onto the court? “It seemed like a chance to capitalize on what’s already popular,” Lt. Daldo Raine, a pseudonymous crypto Twitter user, told ESPN. “Where’s the existing controversy, and how can we divert some of that attention to ourselves?”

The “controversy” this anonymous figure points to is the mere existence of the WNBA. A league that’s soaring in popularity and recently secured a billion-dollar media deal, thanks to stars like Caitlin Clark, is somehow a problem for those in the manosphere. This group, feeling threatened by women who assert their independence, finds solace in the world of cryptocurrency—a particularly cozy corner for America’s most damaged individuals.

How outrageous must it be for these WNBA players to perform without being the butt of a juvenile sexual joke? Who are these women, daring to showcase their top-tier skills to millions? And what about the fragile egos of men intimidated by these powerful women?

These acts of throwing sex toys at athletes and then scurrying away are meant to boost their Green Dildo Coin. I’m more embarrassed by my past association with this juvenile scene than by my failed crypto speculations that cost me a million dollars. “We wanted to make memes funny again,” claimed the anonymous crypto enthusiast to ESPN, highlighting again that these wannabe titans are nothing more than lifeless screen addicts. They pretend to frequent elite gatherings, yet most spend their days alone, accruing massive tax liabilities from excessive trading and faking luxury lifestyles on social media.

Despite the recent surge in Green Dildo Coin’s value by 230 percent after these stunts, its market cap is a meager $10.6 million—a drop in the bucket for the crypto world (data from CoinGecko). A small market cap means it’s easier to manipulate, so if these antics were truly impactful, we’d see much bigger movements.

I remember when obscure cryptocurrencies would soar by 1,000 percent in a week. What is this—a pump for toddlers? Any self-respecting crypto enthusiast wouldn’t bother with a $10.6 million market cap coin unless it promised returns of at least 5x. These individuals aren’t just failing in the real world; they’re also falling behind in the crypto realm, underperforming compared to coins like TROLL, which increased by 240 percent and is considerably more substantial.

Crypto bros may think they’re on the brink of global domination, mistakenly buoyed by a scammer in the White House. However, a Gallup poll shows that their influence is limited to a niche demographic: young, single men. Only 14 percent of American adults own cryptocurrency, with even smaller percentages among different gender and age groups. The primary drivers of crypto in the U.S. are men aged 18-49, with 25 percent ownership within this group.

These crypto aficionados haven’t even made significant inroads into the Republican Party. Their financial influence may seem significant, but Gallup’s data reveal that Republicans are the least knowledgeable about cryptocurrency among major political groups. The breakdown by income further isolates crypto enthusiasts, with ownership highest among those earning $90,000 or more.

Since entering the crypto space in 2017, my observations confirm Gallup’s findings: the community largely consists of immature men in their 20s whose fortunes hinge on meme-based cryptocurrencies. These are the least serious individuals, congregating online to wager on valueless digital assets, often ending up broke. My crypto Twitter feed has grown quieter as more participants face financial ruin and return to mundane jobs, the very jobs they mock online while demeaning women.

In reality, not many are actively trading this coin despite the attention from major sports media. Its 24-hour trading volume is just over a million dollars, which pales in comparison to other obscure tokens. This shows that despite their sexist publicity stunts aimed at boosting their profile and net worth, they’re failing miserably at their own game.